Are Vicarious Vows Good For Your wellbeing?

12/05/2011 01:40

Summertime and wedding celebrations - they appear to go together like...

Hmmm, let's contemplate the probabilities:


gorgeous women with custom-designed gowns and 3-hour hairdos - blowing uncontrollably while in the squall attractive men - meaning hours in sweat-soaked suits lost or sun-drooped floral arrangements misplaced wedding rings arguments about outdoor protocol hail storms while in the photo garden tears, fears, and frustrations warm beer and cold beef Thank goodness most weddings aren't this way!

We've been to several weddings recently they usually were wonderful celebrations. People gathered from near and far to visit with friends and relatives, meet new friends and relatives, eat, drink, eat, drink, and consume some more.

In the past, I believed there was far too enough time, effort, and money committed to these ceremonious events. I wondered about how precisely these resources could be better utilized to fund the couple's business, education, housing requirements, or what they needed at the time.

My pondering even had got to the point where I suggested to my teenage sons that, if they choose to marry, they consider eloping. They might take their sweetie somewhere romantic (precisely the two of them), get hitched, provide the honeymoon, and use the money allotted for the festivities in better ways.

Yeah, I may have been a very practical party-pooper!

I've drastically changed my mind recently, based upon my perception of the current state of health and wellness in our society. I now promote weddings as developing a much larger purpose than a fun way to spend a sunny Saturday afternoon.

I believe we will greatly aid society and stimulate great physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health if we prescribed and self-induced large doses of consciously absorbed vicarious wedding vows - whether we have been married or not. The vicarious vows are super-concentrated with nutrients that can benefit anyone, anywhere, and anytime.

Consider this train of thought. Marriage is usually a ceremony which gives two individuals the legal right to like and honour the other person while they are both alive. It sounds so simple and easy and yet statistics prove that many people aren't able to keep their promises - even though made in front of a large group of witnesses.

Rather than stepping into the accountability factor, let's look at one simple, easy way to reaffirm our commitments - to ourselves, our partner, and others.

Here's the challenge for you, if you undertake to accept it. Accept every possibility to attend, watch, and focus on a wedding ceremony. Consciously honour the action momentously by doing the following.

o Listen carefully for the words. They are about honesty, connection, integrity, commitment, respect, and recognition - all words that describe loving behaviour. These are qualities and behaviours which might be beneficial every day in the interactions with everyone you encounter, including yourself.

o Think of the scene. Close you and image (see) yourself in the similar past situation the spot where you were dedicating to long-term commitments to yourself and the other person (could be your own wedding ceremony).

o Relive the emotions. Experience a sense of those feelings evoked with the connection and commitment. Heighten your understanding the senses in most cell of your "beingness." Recall the positive sights, sounds, tastes, smells, and feelings. Involve every sense so it will be real for you. Expand these senses bigger, brighter, with more colours and sound that it is a dazzling experience available for you - as much happiness and pleasure that you can stand. Cry with joy, laugh, smile, dance, or whatever feels best for you in the moment.

o Anchor this sort of feeling. With your sensual experience at its highest point, create an anchor to right away reconnect with the experience. Look in the eyes of your partner or spouse, tug gently on your own earlobe, put your hand on your own heart, or do something appropriate that is easily replicated if you desire to relive this sort of feeling.

If you have accepted the dispute successfully, fully immersed yourself while in the experience, you will be able to relive those feelings anytime you wish, simply by replicating, or setting-off your anchor.

Regularly setting-off this experience is an excellent way to reaffirm your commitments to yourself. If you will be willing to honour your commitments to yourself, you will see that you are also in the position to honour your commitments to others. Actually, they are both the same anyway.

So coming back to where we started, what's the purpose of a wedding?

I believe weddings are to be able to remind all who attend what love is around. We can choose to re-connect (with ourselves and others), re-commit and re-dedicate to our promises (to ourselves and others), and to show re-cognition - to re-think, re-play, and celebrate this fantastic connection with life. The cool thing about a wedding is that we have to do all of this with reciprocal support of other loving people at the same event.

Life is very good! I'm committed to share love everyday, wherever I go.

Ghandi said, "Love is the prerogative of the brave."

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What are you going to because of demonstrate your courage?