Halloween Humor - Decide what to wear to Thrill!

12/05/2011 01:14

Halloween is for us! As an adult, I am assuming you are not going ringing doorbells for candy (although I think we all do need a holiday where adults can walk door-to-door and get free stuff - not candy, but something fun for adults like DVDs or mutual funds or something like that) However, you may find yourself invited into a Halloween costume party. If you're going to attend one you might need a costume. Picking it's possible to be a high stress activity, but have no fear! It's really quite simple. You could have three basic costume options in relation to dressing up for Halloween: Funny, Serious, or Sexy. I outline the main points of each below so you can decide what approach you want to capture this year.


Funny Costumes - Make people laugh and you can wear pretty much anything. One year I tied a big red bow around my figure and attached a pre-balance credit card that said, "To: Women. From: God." (Not my original idea, but as Einstein said, "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.") It only took an instant run to the fabric store, $3 for the ribbon, and two minutes to tie it on and apply the card. I did feel a little bit guilty when my minimal effort/minimal cost outfit won me second place and my friend, who takes these products seriously, won nothing. He went all the way and donned a more elaborate pirate costume filled with hat, jewelry, and makeup. I won second place and then he won nothing. I drove him home that night, and also the tension in the car was palpable. It turned out like "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?" minus the sisters, wheelchair, and horrible physical abuse. We still can't discuss Halloween without him mentioning what he considers for being "a great injustice." Some wounds never heal...

If you should go funny, do not buy an off-the-shelf outfit. Most "funny" outfits at fancy dress shops aren't all that funny. Easily the funniest things about them are the poses and sincere expressions to the faces of the models to the costume bags. That produces me laugh. And God forbid you show up in the same "funny" costume as someone else. If you think appearing in the same dress in the party as another person is embarrassing, imagine appearing and being one among two giant bananas.

Two things to remember if you go with the funny costume: 1) Maximum ROI (Motorola roi) is key - depend on your humor, but not on your elaborate costume. 2) The humor ought to be easy to get. I visited a party a few years ago where someone tried real hard to do the funny costume. She in costume as a chicken and walked around carrying a butterfly net that has a picture of Tori Spelling caught inside. Do you want to guess what she was in costume as? Any guesses? Anyone? "Chicken Cacciatore" (Chicken-Catch-a-Tori") Obtain it? No? Neither did anyone else. You can not make this stuff up people. This outfit violated both rules. First, acquiring and donning a chicken suit isn't a high ROI activity. Second, nobody in the party got what she was without her explaining it.


Humor Lesson: If you want to explain your joke in detail, to everyone, it's not funny. It's like a Zen Koan: When someone tells a joke in the party and nobody laughs, maybe it was really a joke? The solution is no. No it wasn't. Business Lesson (especially organization): It's all about ROI. Low investment, high return. Leave the chicken suit at your house.

Incidentally, my pirate friend go back strong the following year and won second place by dressing up as the spitting image of Flava Flav.

Serious Costumes - Dressing up can create quite an enclosed struggle. It is the only decision you will be making all year that allows people to judge your attractiveness, wit, financial status, and creativity with one look. It's the "online dating" of parties - possibly you have a lot more going on, but people are really only making time for the picture. You have to find just the right balance; you want a costume that tells you put a little thought involved with it, but not too much thought since if it's stupid, you wouldn't like people to pity the volume of effort you put in (think Chicken Cacciatore). Going with a straight costume is the easiest and safest method. You can just head into a store, plop down a handful of bucks, and Presto! You could have just fulfilled your dressing up obligation. Years ago, I walked right into a store, bought a cowboy hat and poncho, and boom - instant costume! I might not have been really the only cowboy there, but not less than I had a costume that didn't take too much effort.

On a side note, I'd been probably the only an associate the city who was both a Cowboy along with an Indian! Get it? No? (You may not realize that I am of Indian background. I do know, with a name like "Avish," you most likely assumed I was Irish) Well nobody would have either, and that's why I didn't try to tell those who I was a "Cowboy and Indian." That is going to violate my "explaining the joke" humor rule above.

For serious costumes, I would not begrudge people spending time or money. Which simply shows that you are really coming into the spirit of things. Just avoid being annoyed if you get outshine ed for best costume by someone that spent five minutes and $3 on their own costume.

Sexy Costumes - Head over to enough costume parties and you start to wonder in the event the original pagan specification of Halloween is "night for repressed women to overcome their inner inhibitions." Ladies who feel uncomfortable undressing for the shower will walk around in public like Victoria's Secret runway models - with "kitten ears" thrown on make it an actual costume, naturally. It's like society issues a get-out-of-jail-free card once per year and boy do people take full advantage of it.

In the party above where I won second place as "God's Gift to Women," and also the following year my friend won second place as "Flava Flav," want to know who won beginning of the process? Same woman both years. Year one, she would be a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader - short shorts and all of. Year two she went for a Vegas showgirl. Show some skin, win a prize! Sexy beats funny each time...

Speaking of Las Vegas, I never knew how attractive cats, Little Bo Peep, and Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz could possibly be until I spent Halloween in Nevada. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my god!

Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I just think it is an interesting sociological phenomenon. We'd like more holidays where we, everyone, we all, can act out our repressed desires. I would personally walk around wearing a Fedora and leather jacket and also have a bull-whip attached to my hip.

I recently re-watched "Batman Begins." By the end, Batman's (Bruce Wayne's) girlfriend tells him that Batman is who he is really, and that Bruce Wayne is often the mask. Kind of forces you to wonder on Halloween anybody let their inner desires out, whether are putting on a costume or simply letting themselves "be real" for 1 day out of the year and putting on a mask additional 364... If the latter, then maybe they should consider flipping things around - it could be much more rewarding and satisfying.

Well that's kind of heavy...But it surely does go to show that you can get life lessons everywhere you look, even from a movie about a man dressed up for a flying rodent.

A Word to opportunity seekers Who 'Don't Want to Get Dressed Up'

There are always a few people who check out a Halloween party and don't liven up. "Do I have to?" they whine. Yes! It can be Halloween! It is a *Costume* party! Not dressing up for a costume party is compared to showing up to a food drive and not using a can of food. You needn't be that guy. This is a thought for this year: if you get invited to a costume party, liven up or stay home.

Sorry, nonetheless it had to be said.

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Besides, it takes far more effort which is far more embarrassing to complain about dressing up than it is to throw on a simple costume. Not a soul expects you to spend quite a number of money or appear in a full body outfit. In case you are really confused, check out a Halloween store or simply your local discount store. Obtain a pair of horns and a pitchfork (ought to be less than $10 total). Return home, wear some decent party clothes, don the horns, and carry the pitchfork around. Boom! Instant costume. Now stop whining and go have a great time at your Halloween party you sexy devil! :=)