What I Love About the Internet: Pet Peeves along with other Annoyances

12/05/2011 01:27

Here are a few of the things I love about the internet...

- I love how every time you use a search engine to locate anything nowadays - every result you get is a page with text that are either generated by way of a computer or an illiterate child from somewhere in rural India. Filled without a penny but repetitive keywords. Surrounded on all sides by ad links and menus, and a lot more menus, and even more menus, bringing about more and more ad links?

- I love how eBay's become soooo big that they afford to have the worst customer satisfaction since the Concierge within the Dungeon of the Spanish Inquisition!

- I love Nigerian Royalty and their persistent and valiant tries to gain restitution for the hundreds of millions of dollars which were so unlawfully stolen at their store (or, should I say, kept at their store)! These guys can hardly even spell - yet they've created a fortune by proving the best way stupid and gullible people might be. That's free-enterprise for you!

- I luv evrytng abt txt-msging! It gives the average dullard that many alternative ideas to look simple and uneducated every single day!

- I love how MySpace is the third most popular web site in history - and that i can't, for the lifetime of me, think of a single answer why anyone would want to use their site!

- I love how Google is the online version of your Bush Administration - say the one thing and do something contrasting! 'Don't be evil?' generally equate to: 'Be evil anyways, provided that there's money involved.'

- I love how my computer incorporates a unique serial number; how my copy of Windows has it's own unique serial number; and how I connect to the online world with a unique Ip - yet not a particular freakin' web site knows that I'm actually me - and that i still have to enter 18 billion passwords sixteen times on a daily basis! Really! It's the Modern! Come on already!

- I love how the internet has expanded my head! If it wasn't for the net, I might never have known that of a goatse was (be sure to take images when you try it yourself)!

- I love how the internet exists - yet, people still spend billions and vast amounts of dollars every year on pornography.

- I love how Windows has all of these little pop-up windows that appear whenever something fails and give you advice on the best way to fix the problem. And, I especially love how these hints never, ever, EVER actually solves your short lived problem.

- I love Craigslist - now I'll never need to search long and hard for penis enhancement pills or prostitutes again!

- I love how basically spot a fraudulent eBay auction - and email every one of the bidders to warn them which the item they are bidding on is truly a fake - it's actually not the crooked seller who gets booted off from eBay - it's me!

- I love how the US and UK Governments are reading every email on Earth (including every email you sent this year) - and not a particular, solitary person generally care!

- I love how Wikipedia has garnered a niche as the place to opt for an authoritative encyclopedia packed with knowledge - yet to know for sure if what you will be reading is entirely correct...

- I love how they've added camcorders, digital video cameras, instant messaging and email to cellular phones - now they're four times more annoying compared to what they were four years ago!

- I additionally love Parents who think it's perfectly acceptable for their 7 year old to have a cellular phone. Great. It's simple to over-parent your children from a distance!

- I love how Google's only truly relevant result can be for the search term 'miserable failure.'

- I love eBay sellers that manage to find the time to keyword spam a 10,000 word essay to their item description - yet have the time to add a unitary (and extremely vague) line about the actual item they are selling.

- I love how every time I click on a billboard for 'mesothelioma,' somewhere around, it cost an ambulance-chasing lawyer fifty bucks!

- I love how I can purchase virtually everything I require online and have it delivered straight away to my home - DVDs, liquor, groceries, etc... In case you spend most of your life online playing role-playing games, fear not, you can also order prostitutes online... Now, with social network sites like MySpace, you don't even need to have any real-life friends!

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And, that maybe what I love about the internet!